My husband and I have four children, 16, 14, 8 and 6. We chose to homeschool for various reasons, most of which were because I was sick in 2013 and we wanted them close to us. But we enjoyed the experience so much that the following year we decided to do it again and have been at it ever since. At that time, my oldest was in 3rd grade, she is now in 9th and finishing up her first year as a high schooler.
I’m going to be honest upfront: homeschooling is hard. Working from home and being productive is hard. Doing them both at the same time…well, there are many days we are simply not winning and question whether we are messing up our children, no joke. I’ve had quite a few mom fails these last few years, so I can resonate with those of you who have been yelling way too much and repeating “brush your teeth or else’ far too many times in one day.
However, for those of us who choose this lifestyle, the tough days are just that: tough days that remind us how challenging this path is and test our fortitude and devotion. But they come and go. Because we’ve chosen this. For those of you who are now thrust into both activities without a choice, then I can imagine the stress and frustration you are feeling is likely overwhelming right now.
I was on a video call with a colleague yesterday who reminded me how challenging life is right now. Particularly for those of you with young elementary age children. You haven’t had time to create a routine, learn what works and what doesn’t and most importantly to recognize to give yourself grace in the process. So, I thought it may be helpful to share my routine and some tips I’ve learned over the years as you manage your own schedule and try to thrive in this new normal.
1. Here’s tip number one and this is probably the most important: working from home and homeschooling are not the same as working in an office and your kids attending public school. They are entirely different and if you try to arrange your work schedule the same as you did when in the office or do public school at home, you will fail…. miserably. Been there done that. My first two years of homeschooling and working from home were all about finding what worked for my family so we could learn and be productive at the same time. It took me at least two years to recognize this truth and find our rhythm, so don’t expect that you are going to fall into a routine that works overnight. Try something, test it out, and if its not working after a few days, try something else. This is a marathon, not a race.
When it comes to your work schedule, you are going to want to be very careful that you don’t overschedule yourself with meetings, that you leave plenty of time between meetings and give yourself at least a day where you schedule absolutely nothing. This is going to be hard to do at first, but you will learn to set up healthy boundaries with your co-workers, your team and yourself. You are not going to be able to manage the same schedule you did while in the office, and if you try the only thing you will accomplish is exhaustion and a house filled with frustration. Plus is just not healthy to sit in front of your computer all day in meetings. I start my workday around 10am, which is much different from the 8am start time I was accustomed to. But this means I try very hard not to schedule any meetings prior to 10am. I’ve learned that I need at least 3 hours to get my morning exercise in, get the kids breakfast and started on their schoolwork before I can start my workday. Most days I can do this, but there is the occasional 8am meeting that messes us up the entire day. When that happens, I just brush it off and start over the next day. I keep my Thursdays entirely open without any calls so I can work on work product and writing. Otherwise you find you spend your entire week in calls and schooling, and you get nothing done. I share my detailed schedule below for those of you who are interested. This is just a template, rarely do we follow it exactly.
2. This leads us to tip number two: you are not going to mess up your kids if you miss a lesson or two. Kids learn from all sorts of activities, but the public-school system has trained you to believe that the only way learning occurs is in a classroom. This is simply not true. In our home, we learn all day….at breakfast when we discuss what our day is going to look like, when we are playing outside and counting the flowers or birds and at night when we snuggle in for a good book. For elementary aged children, the best thing you can do for them is pencil in short learning lesson’s interspersed with playtime, lots of playtime. Children learn while playing, so do not deprive them of this. We like to think our kids are robots that can sit all day and do their work, but they are not and you will fight like cats and dogs day in and day out if this is how you approach learning from home. Yes, there are things that need to be done and turned in, and in our home, there are consequences for when that doesn’t happen. But our kids also know that if they get their work done, they get their time to play, so we use incentives and lots of encouragement and good old fashioned discipline to make it happen.
3. Finally last tip, and something I wish I would’ve done sooner: enlist the help of friends and family. I started a new virtual teaching position last fall, while trying to keep my company going. Homeschooling four children on top of that was almost impossible. But two amazing friends of ours offered their help and support and this has now turned into a full-fledged reading and math lessons for my youngest two and science for my oldest two. We are now doing these lessons virtually and it has saved our homeschool. I am so grateful for these two women and I know they enjoy it as well. So, don’t forget your friends and family, especially right now. Lean into them and ask for help. Get your kids on a virtual call with a friend or their grandparents and have them read a few stories to them or play a math game. They can even write each other letters and pass them back and forth by showing them on the screen. Get creative and utilize these experiences for when you have important meetings and need to keep them occupied.
One last thing I would like to comment on, because I’ve seen a lot of folks on social media suggesting hours of screen time for little ones to get through the day. We do not use a lot of online learning, mostly because I don’t want my kids sitting in front of a screen all day. We tried one year of the Abeka online learning academy and the kids pretty much spent 6-7 hours on the computer. This is not healthy for anyone, let alone a child. So, we decided most of their learning would be done with books, workbooks and hands on activities. We also have them do chores and character-building exercises (like picking up sticks in the yard, which they do not enjoy at all) to fill in the time. We do utilize online learning but mostly for my older two when it comes to math. This means that I do have to be somewhat organized and plan a bit when it comes to daily activities. Because I have very little time to plan, I keep it simple, and we follow a routine.
My oldest two are very independent now and only rely on my husband and I for questions or when they need additional help with an assignment. This year we attended a local cottage school and enrolled them in Latin and Omnibus, which is something we had to do together. So, we found about an hour each day to set aside for learning together, but most of the time I no longer give them their lessons as they are old enough to read the lessons and watch videos. It’s really only when they get stuck do, they come to my husband and I for help.
My youngest start their day with morning work or copy work. And I wish we would’ve found copy work sooner. Basically, this is simple work to get them started and comfortable sitting for periods of time. They always have sentences and words to copy, letters to write in cursive, and numbers to copy on their blank worksheets. This is followed by a writing activity and coloring. For my youngest I write 2-3 sentences, which he copies and draws a picture of. For my second grader, she writes her own paragraph and colors a related picture. They normally take about 1-2 hours to complete this work which is the perfect amount of time for me to take calls and meetings. By this time, we normally take lunch together and then I spend an hour or two to work with them on their sight words, reading activities and addition/subtraction. After this, my littlest ones are done with their day and get to play. The only thing we add is reading at night for each of them before bed. When my days are packed with work activities, my husband steps in and takes care of the afternoon work, but he mostly serves as our principal! Just one look from dad and the kids get on it!
I am not a perfect homeschooling mom and have made many mistakes. I often wonder if my kids are learning anything. But then they surprise me with something and I’m reminded that learning takes many shapes and forms and while I have them for this limited period of time I’m going to relish in the fact that even when I’m feeling like a complete failure as their teacher, they are still learning something from me. And when it comes to work, I’ve learned that not everything is a priority. I am very intentional with my activities because my time is precious. When I can, I utilize 30-minute meetings to keep me on task and only check email a few times throughout the day instead of keeping it on in the background to distract me every two minutes. I have worked hard to maximize my schedule to be efficient, so I accomplish much more in less time. And I rely on my morning time to recenter and prepare for my day. We do a lot of yoga, deep breathing and meditation in this house, otherwise I think we would all be crazy!
The way I work has changed, but I’m far more productive because of it. Those people who say that working from home doesn’t work have never really tried it. Because once you find your rhythm you begin to recognize the time you wasted in the office, which you can now give your children and that is a beautiful thing.
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